The styles that I mentioned in my previous post really helped me to reflect as much as possible on my day. They worked great for me to summarise, pick out highs and lows, and evaluate the day as concisely as possible. I found a few reoccurring themes that I hadn't noticed before about myself and I think that's really an important thing to take away from the task.
I found that more often than not my lists and thoughts always stemmed back to not feeling fulfilled and always wanting something more. I knew that obviously I don't want to be working as a waitress for ever, but I hadn'nt ever really noticed that actually that is alllllllllllllll I think about. Or rather everything that I do think about and do on a daily basis is with the aim or hope of doing something more, getting something better, being something better. And really how depressing that when you look at that from another perspective.... there must be a serious dent in my self esteem to have such loathing for my current lifestyle and its attributes. And for that matter, it highlights to me now as I type that perhaps that is why I've mentioned on several occasions that I like to pick up on the pros and highlights of the day, even if it is a split second that makes me smile.
If I take anything from this experience, that last paragraph was the turning point. That is the point in which keeping a journal for the task has become a true point of reflection on my life at this moment. A moment of self realisation. Good and bad.
Hi I think this post is quite important in terms of your reflective process. You make some thought provoking points. I think there is something here that goes back to something you said at the second campus session about see, notice, wonder. Sometimes 'noticing' is very useful. By notice I mean to acknowledge but not make too much of a judgment ( yet). The reflection process involves allowing yourself to notice without correcting yourself making too much of judgement. You are thinking a lot about how you want to shape your future and frustrated that it's not as you want it -that could be seen as drive not self loathing. But either way don't decide now. I think deciding to highlight what makes you smile is important and so is noticing how you care for yourself support that person fighting to have a voice on the stage.
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